Golden Rules on the Tenth Month! Sunday, February 26, 2012

1) Sit back and do nothing
2) Sit back and do nothing
3) Sit back..... you can't do anything anyway...

I have been doing nothing the last week. I can honestly say that boredom is a luxury. And I have come to love luxury! On my due date, I got my hair done....that was huge....I had to rest the entire next day!

So my advice is..... watch TV, read stupid magazines, browse the internet (not work related of course!), sit in bed and stare at the ceiling, eat your heart out and let everyone around you do everything and anything! The more you let them do things...the less you do and that means more Downtown Abby episodes for you!
Trust me....it's a good thing. And one you will not come again soon...
You will not watch TV, browse a magazine or sit down to eat again for YEARS!

Gotta go...all this "work" exhausted me...gotta switch to hulu immediately and watch pointless TV!
See you soon - hopefully with babe in arms!

Golden Rules of the Ninth Month! Thursday, February 09, 2012

I had forgotten how tiring, aching, bloating, and just plain difficult the ninth month of pregnancy is.
Now I remember.

So in order to get through these last weeks, I realized I made a mental note of rules for survival! Here they are:

- Anything that falls to the floor stays there until a "thin" person comes along. That's their duty.

- It's perfectly acceptable to "schedule" a whining fest. I have mine everyday the same time; and usually complain about the same things. My husband just nods. I love him.

- Stairs are not an option. If there is absolutely no alternative, wait at the bottom until your husband can gently nudge you up.

- Nightly foot/calf massages are mandatory. They work best when in conjunction with the whining fest.

- Never plan on going anywhere without the proximity of a bathroom; my preference is ten steps.

- Whenever someone asks you (and they will!), "Almost there yet?" just nod and smile - no matter what week you are in. If not, you will get trapped into a long detailed account of their own experience!

- On buses, trains, or at a Costco check-out line, leave dignity and pride behind. Put on your most tired, dreary puppy look and let the eyes (and belly) do the begging for help.

- Never deny yourself dessert. There is a 99.9% chance that you are going to need to go on a diet after the birth anyway so you might as well have some fun along the way.

- Be spontaneous. Last chance.

- Don't worry about sleeping - it's just not going to happen. The more you stress about it, the bigger an issue it becomes. Take any sleep time a sudden gift of mercy and think of no sleep as the norm.

- Be the designated driver as often as you can to as many of your friends as you can. Reciprocation time will be sweet & cherished!


Now feel free to tell me some of your own!

(BTW..before I get comments on how good I look for 9 months...they are both me at 6....couldn't find a picture of me now - not by coincidence!!)

The Final Countdown! Wednesday, February 08, 2012

My pregnancy days are coming to an end. I am more than ready; we are now just waiting for the Little Boy to decide when he wants to make his Big Debut. I just hope he's not a procrastinator...

The last days/weeks of pregnancy are rather strange. Without even wanting, you end up "just waiting." No matter how much I try to keep myself preoccupied by relentlessly run around during "very important" chores, the truth is... I'm just waiting. Even when I was wrapping up my freelance projects, I was waiting. And the irony is you are waiting to go through the biggest pain of your life! You are waiting for a huge pain to overtake you so someone can take you to the hospital where you will spend more hours in pain! You are rushed home much to your dismay to find yourself in a horrible mix of exhaustion, rampant emotions and routine! Hmmmm......

Granted, this is probably the only time in one's life where the pain is associated with joy and hospitals with excitement, but it still strikes me as odd. I guess because I am thinking more and more now about the actual labor and less the cutsie baby emotional stuff. The thoughts about babies/newborns/cuddles are sliding away from my memory bank and being replaced with epidurals/contractions/episiotomies/forceps....ugh. The closer I get to my due date, the more pragmatic my brain gets!

And still....I can't wait! 

People are just weird. Or maybe just I am.

I am so impatient (in general and now) that we made our prediction board open to the "public" on when Little Boy's Big Debut will actually occur! So far, Valentine's Day hold the top chose of dates {pressure is on!} with the first date of prediction being today (gulp!). 

DD Prediction Board (dates available from 5th - 28th of Feb)

No I must sign off. I "need" to go to the store to buy a new pair of slippers for my son - it is important his feet stay warm. That's my story and I'm sticking to it!

This Time Around (Part II) Sunday, January 15, 2012

In the morning while I still had some fresh brain cells, I started to think of the post I recently wrote describing the differences in my pregnancy side effects this time around . And then it hit me...I forgot to mention some of the most obvious differences! The ones that I constantly whine about.

My initial thought was to go back and just edit what I wrote. But then I thought...instead of just telling how scatter brained I am...this will actually show it! So...here are some more differences that I neglected to mention because pregnancy has stole half of my brain cells....

Fatigue! Fatigue! Fatigue! Previously saved for the first couple of months, this time there has been hardly any trimester discrimination! In the beginning it was something beyond fatigue - more like a constant coma-induced being. This kind of fatigue laughed in the face of naps! Ha! You can nap all you want, it said, but I will still continue being like a battered, spent old shoe! And so it was... I had about one (1) month of reprieve and was so flabbergasted and shocked I literally wasted it away just watching myself stay awake! Now that I'm in my last trimester, my old friend fatigue came back - bigger and stronger! Now it has upgraded to a physical kind of fatigue; the kind where your body just won't budge anyone no matter how much your (exhausted and diminished) brain asks it.

Belly cramps - what??? Who knew that this would be my biggest annoyance of them all? I never had them before and can't find a lot online about it; the doctors kinda shrug when I mention it and then go into a whole catalog of pre-labor questions which I fail (that's a good thing). So whatever it is...it hurts like hell and keeps me up at least 3 hours every night. Annoying.

On the other hand, no Braxton-Hicks. So I'm figuring that they got bored and left and let the crampy big guys take over. The difference is that my belly doesn't tighten like when you are experiencing BH. Just pain. Go figure!

Fear of the known. During my previous pregnancies, there was an underlying fear of the unknown - for the baby, for me, for our future. Now that has been eliminated.
However, it has been replaced with fear of the known:
- for the baby (I know what could go wrong; what deformities exist; what behavioral problems could vex us)
- for me (I know the possible complications, the postpartum experience), and,
- for our future (I know how hard the first months are, how the other kids will feel left out, how our relaxed routine will come to an abrupt end)


Worried for me? On my previous post, many have reached out privately or publicly worried that I am depressed or overtly pessimistic about this "adventure". The truth is...I want this more than anything. I am super excited about embracing another "Bakopoul-aki" into the clan! I look forward to holding a tiny baby, following his path of growth and maturity, and watching him interact and bond with his siblings. I look forward to it all (well...some parts I would happily leave out...).

However....I am not a fan of being pregnant. Never have, never will. Not the first time, not the last time. I have never been one of those women who embrace this special moment in their lives. Although I understand on an emotional level the importance and the magnitude of  this miracle, I cannot help stalling over the little aspects of discomfort. Petty you say? I agree. Whiny? Yes. Immature? By all means.
But never depressed or pessimistic or discouraged. And never more hopeful for the future!!

So I thank every single one of my worried friends and am grateful that they are looking out for me. But fear not. I am a whiny, big, tired, hungry, achy, grateful, sentimental, hopeful mother.

Pensive but happy mother-to-be!

This Time Around... Friday, January 13, 2012

Now close to the end of my eighth month of pregnancy, I can honestly say that I have some child-bearing experience. Some good, some bad. Some blog-worthy, most not.

But I am asked by most friends, "How is it different this time around?".

So, I've compiled a list of differences that I think are blog worthy (and won't cause future embarrassment to any of my family members - for those you can contact me privately!!)

I think from the moment that little pee stick indicated a plus sign, I knew things would be different! All I had to do was look at my belly! I was a mere 5 hours pregnant and already my belly wanted to make a bold statement - I am here, ready and experienced! I can do this, it cried! And it sure showed me...within hours of conception, my microscopic embryo huffed and puffed and blew my uterus out!

By the time I was 5 months pregnant, I was tired of looking and feeling BIG. People were openly discussing my pregnancy whereas with the previous two it took at least two more months to reach that stage. You know...the part where everyone suspected but didn't want to say anything in case it was that rare-but-so-disturbing scenario when the "expectant" is just .....well...having a good time with food!
Nope, we got over that phase quickly and went straight to the, "how far along are you?"

Another difference pointed out at this phase was the following question, "Was it planned?"  I must confess, the first 20 times I heard that I was a little taken back. No one asked me about my intentions regarding my other pregnancies. ..why now? I am figuring because most people cannot phantom why a sane, intelligent person would want to destroy any potentially-near calmness in their life by bringing another crying-pooping-whining baby in their world! Just saying...


Now...along with the idea that my insides have all stretched out a little more and been inflated to the max and then some...there's also the fact that I am almost eight years older than the first time around. Ouch. So I figuring my comfort level is a little off. These two realities (age and wear-n-tear) elicit the following reactions:

- Sleep becomes unbearable! I haven't slept since the 6th month! If I do snooze a little I am up 236 times a night! My ears are already practicing for the newborn so if a pee run doesn't do it, then I am up because I heard my son breathe louder than usual...or my daughter rolled on her side....

- I can't get comfortable - anywhere, anytime! Pillows use to do the work...now I just need a whole other body! I recently abandoned all body pillows, pregnancy wedges, belly pillows because they just don't work anymore! My sides ache at night, my belly feels like a 1000 lbs and my bones even feel worn out from carrying all that mass.

- My hair isn't luscious and gorgeous and growing like Rapunzel.. The ONE side effect of pregnancy that I was waiting for totally slipped by! My hair isn't a disaster, it's just not any different than before. I remember the last two pregnancies I had to go to the salon 3-4 for a trim because I am a human chia plant!

- On the positive note: breasts don't hurt (at all) and that funny weird line on the belly didn't appear. yes....that's it for positives..

Another big difference that relates to all of the above is that no one seems to care! I don't get any of the sympathy or pampering I did get the previous times (*exception is my husband - that's the next post though!). I guess people/family figure that "you've been through it and you still wanted another so now it's your own damn fault"! No special treatment or extra indulgences....

(So if you see me around the next few weeks make it up to me...just a "slight" hint!)

All Of Me. A mother's apology and promise. Sunday, January 08, 2012

Dear Baby,

In a few weeks you will enter the universe and become a part of my own most precious world. You will be welcomed to a family who has been blessed, happy,  and together for some years now. This small, close family consists of a father who who loves to see his kids laugh, play and grow; a sister who will be dependable and affectionate to you always; a brother who will love to get into mischief with you and show you the wonders of the world; and a mother who will never stop believing in you. We will welcome you with open arms and keep them open for you always.

You come a little later in my life than I had ever imagined and for that, I apologize to you. Life just moved too fast for me.    My twenties were lost.  All the growing, learning and maturing in my life so far has occurred in my thirties - I took a chance on true love and married your father, I made a geographical move that I always wanted to, I had my two children, I exposed my writing to the world and I buried some old wounds of a different lifetime. It took me all those years of self-building to reach a point where I could candidly bring you into this world.

But my safe passage means that you will have seven years between you and your sister and four years between you and the next sibling. It also means that you will receive parents who are at your birth towards the end of the thirties spectrum.

So I can only offer my apologies:
- I won't have the energy or carefree-ness that I had when your sister was born. I will be more cautious, more alert and more reserved with my decisions, actions and parenting methods
- I (probably) won't have as many of your friends' parents as my buddies. I will always be friendly and social with your school family but they probably won't fit my already established groups of moms who I met when I had your siblings
- I might not be able to be "cool", "in-the-know" or "with it" by the time you are a teenager. I will probably be far more distant to what's really going on in this past-faced world and might be staggering behind socially and technologically
- I will probably burden you sooner and the longest with my health and medical issues
- I will sadly miss out on getting to know and live with your own future family
- I probably will not get the chance to run, climb and play with my future grandchildren from you

These all sadden me deeply and I know there will be times in our common lives together when our age differences will cause tension and misunderstandings. But I always want you to know that this very same age difference can be a blessing in disguise.

I promise you now - because I am older, have more life experience and spirit - that you will you get all of me. You will get a mother who understands how precious the chance of life is; who respects that each child is different, wonderful and special; and who yearns to open her heart to more love. You will get all of me regardless of what you look like, regardless of how difficult you are, regardless of how restless you become.

All of me to you is my gift to you, sweet baby. May you come to me and this family in peace.

Confessions of a Pregnant Mom Tuesday, November 15, 2011

The beginning of a great adventure!

Expecting, carrying with child, preggers, hopeful...whatever you call it, please don't use "we" in front! For all the dads out there, I understand that it's important to be included in the process and that the "we" symbolizes a unity or bonding of events...but let's be real....WE are not in nine months of drama...I am!

Singular, not plural.

I just had to get that out of the way.

"I" am pregnant with my third child. Next week I will be entering the seventh month and am still occasionally vomiting and feeling nausea. I look like I'm about nine months (especially next to first-time expectants!) and feel about twenty months pregnant. So you can probably guess where this post is heading...

There are two categories of "hopefuls" - those that cherish every moment of the miracle of life and those that just want to whole ordeal to be over! After many years of meeting mothers and interacting with "preggers" I've come to realize that only those women without any symptoms / side effects / hormone-chaoseness feel blessed to be the ones carrying. All the others dread it.

Before anyone sends me any nasty emails or calls me an ungrateful mother, I don't mean that the latter ones don't feel blessed about the occasion or aren't anticipating the baby....just not the process.  I am obviously in that category. I love being pregnant for about one week.

I get my emotional fill and psychological kick from that one week. The rest of the 39 weeks are just full of queasiness, morning sickness, bloated feet, painful backaches, insomnia and  hunger attacks! I obviously love children (this was no accident!) but couldn't my husband and I share the 'carrying' part this time around!? I would love to prop up his 24th pillow in bed, or encourage him to drop the 4th donut for his after-dessert, dessert. I would be really understanding when he would have simultaneous mood swings while crying and laughing together. I would smile with love when he tried to wiggle into  pre-pregnancy "stretch" clothes and look like a whale washed ashore...I would even tell him how cute and "small" he looked acknowledging that little white lies never harmed anyone! I would forgive the fact that I would wake up with crumbs in my bed and would give up the last piece of pie even though I had none and he would be on his third...

I think I would be a great supporter. Yet here I am the one that needs all the support!


In order to get by the nausea and heartburn and stretch marks, I concentrate on the fact that in a couple of months I will have a bundle of cuteness in my arms.... and it seems to work! I envision a sleeping, snuggling, warm babe in my arms; a ball of tenderness that needs my attention; a little piece of paradise that will become a part of who I am...and then all my moans, complaints and whines seems trivial. I'll take the nine months of hopefulness with the loving support of my partner in exchange for those rare moments of sweet motherhood that are to come...

(yes, I know the "other" moments will come to but leave me have some sort of fantasy to get over the hump here please....!)

Latest picture...yup a mere 6 months pregnant!